Done! I’ve been dying to get to Komodo for a while now…

By the way, I just visited Komodo national park and dived Batu Bolong – the best dive I’ve ever done without a doubt! Absolutely incredible, be sure to add it to your list 🙂 x

Sounds like you are having an amazing experience! And yes — I totally agree with you on those two different kind of trips. The more undeveloped the area, definitely the easier it is to have genuine interactions with locals! (I do think it’s possible in Thailand too… just probably a little harder to find!) And of course there are so many cultural elements at play, too. I have found it SO much easier to develop real relationships with my peers in Latin America than I have in Southeast Asia. It’s a really complex issue!

I hope I get to Eastern Indonesia too!

I’m currently travelling through Flores, Indonesia where I am finding less and less tourists as I go. As I step further away from the backpacker crowd it reminded me of this post from a while back! I think because as I travel inland solo, I find many Indonesians who invite me on trips, invite me to dinner and look to have conversations with me where they can both practise English and teach me more about Indonesian culture. As a result I think the thing I have gained most from this trip, as well as the great views and activities, is to gather the perspective of different Indonesian religious and cultural groups, and kind of get an idea about how they see themselves within such a diverse country. That’s definitely given me a sense of perspective! However, I think this might be quite specific to Indonesia? I can’t speak for other SE Asian countries- I would imagine it is a lot harder in Thailand.

Not quite sure where I’m going with this, but since I love your perspective on things, I guess I thought I’d share my personal experience, that when I’m in more developed areas I seek out other traveller to have like minded conversations with and do similar things. Then when I find myself somewhere more untouched I need to throw myself into getting to know the locals, and picking up parts of the language.

I think there’s something to be gained from both, I really think there’s no right way to travel (actually the only wrong way to travel is with a sense of judgement!)

So keep doing what you’re doing, it’s awesome! And I really hope one day you get to explore eastern Indonesian and you can let me know what you think! 🙂

Charly xxx

Ha ha, binge away! I feel you a lot of these factors — transient communities, a stay with an expiration date, you name it. I think everyone makes friends and bonds and carries out their travels differently. And there’s no right or wrong way. Enjoy your time in Singapore!

I’m not a full time traveler – my fiance and I are expats living in Singapore and traveling throughout Asia in short spurts. To be embarrassingly honest, we haven’t made any friends other than those through our jobs or through previous connections! And none of those are locals. I think it comes down to a variety of factors. Singapore is such a transient place. Even though we’re in one place, it’s only for 6 months, and tons of people in Singapore are in that same situation – just here for the short term. Also, since we live together, travel everywhere as a duo, and on our travels tend to stay in guesthouses with private rooms instead of hostel dorms, we end up sticking together as a twosome rather than branching out.

Just wanted to throw my experience out there 🙂 thanks for a great post, as usual!!

I definitely have had the same thoughts run through my head, but at the same time, I go out into the world to meet… people. Can’t always be picky about where they come from 🙂 I have no true Thai friends, but I have best, close, lifelong friends that I’ve met there from countries I’ve never been to and may never get the chance to visit. No complaints there!

In my travels, I have however found that a lot of people (myself included) go to a destination and meet tons of people at the hostel and find that having a Brazilian friend while you party in Germany is the equivalent to being worldly. Is it though? Isn’t going meeting Germans what you’re there for, not meeting other travelers? I have found that those conversations with other travelers is just about where/why/how long, some joking around, some partying, but is it really taking advantage of that destination? What’s the difference then between meeting a group of Brazilians in a German hostel and a Thai hostel? Just some thoughts that I have!

Hey Amanda, I love that you live your life trying to push yourself out of your comfort zone, especially in an area as complicated as this one. This conversation has really made me think, and inspired me to try to the same more in my own life. And man, that’s why I love blogging!

Thank you for your response Alex. Your thoughtfulness and willingness to take on certain subjects so candidly is what keeps me coming back to your blog. I think part of me was bummed just because because I enjoy reading your posts so much and you seem like such a fun chick, and not seeing many people of color amongst your photos of friends made me feel… excluded maybe? You are right that meaningful relationships depend on an infinite number of factors. I do think we often deny the relevance of factors like race when it comes to our personal lives (most of us genuinely like to think of ourselves as p.c., as least I hope!). We preach color blindness, yet still largely self segregate (myself included- I am half black, half white, and most of my friends black or brown and look like me). I like to believe I am open-minded and fair, and that race isn’t a factor because it certainly shouldn’t be. My history of friendships, however, indicate that I am clearly more comfortable with people who look like me and to combat this I force myself to actively reach out to (white) people with whom I admittedly feel less welcomed (yes, despite my mother being white). You don’t owe anyone anything, of course, and I love that you don’t apologize for yourself unnecessarily. I suppose the lack of diversity amongst your friends just stings a little. The fact the you took the time to respond makes it sting a lot less though, so thank you, again. The only response I may hope for is that we all look at ourselves just a little more critically. You do a great job of that and I really admire that quality in you.